Just some thoughts

It's been a while since I have written anything, but I have had a lot of thoughts about the lesson today in church. We discussed temptation and the teacher likened a scripture story in Alma to strengthening our weaknesses and temptations. So, the story was when the lamanites were going to take over the city of Ammonihah because they had destroyed it previously and it was an easy target. Moroni knew this would be their plan and so they had been fortifying the city, put an army there, and were prepared for when the lamanites would come. So, likewise, satan tries to go after our weaknesses over and over and over because that's an easy target for him. So the question we have now is how will we fortify our weaknesses? I guess since I'm still reading in Alma and was familiar with the story, it really enlightened me. How can I literally make myself stronger where I am weak? I know what I should do, sure...BUT, I realize now that this is difficult because I want to keep doing the same things I'm doing, even though they may not be the best for me. I'm not ready to say goodbye to some of my weaknesses.  I need to figure out how I can desire a fully righteous life. If I'm being honest,  I love the Lord and His gospel, but I guess the truth is I don't love Him enough or rather love Him perfectly. This saddens me, but at the same time the spirit is leading me through this so I can maybe in another life love Him perfectly. I know that I want to love the Lord with all my might, mind, and strength. So I am grateful for that hope. So now that I have narrowed down what I need to do to start this change of heart, the only thing I can start with is drawing closer the the Savior so he will draw closer to me. Maybe then will I be willing to "put off the natural man." I will do this by making my personal study of the scriptures a little more meaningful. I will actually study personally the come follow me instead of just leaving that for family study. Probably next, like when my kids are in school all day, I will be able to make my temple attendance more regular. So that's my plan...