Loving learning just because

Truth be told, I don’t know what I want to do with my life because I want to do too many things. I have discovered that I really enjoy seeing how things work. I enjoy building things because I take lots of boring things and creating something pleasing. This is why Dave thought I might like programming. I think I just need more visual stimulation during the process. I don’t know, maybe I didn’t give it enough time, but for now I am moving on to other possibilities. I have been wanting to learn massage therapy so I could know about muscles and where and what to do to help heal the body. After my surgery, I went to get lymphatic massages every week, so I was curious what exactly was happening with my lymphatic system during this recovery process. I started watching YouTube classes about it and found a channel that explains really well and I’m able to understand what is going on in my body. So, I decided I wanted to kinda start from the beginning and then continue learning about anatomy and physiology. So I’ve been watching classes on The Chemistry of Life. I thought I’d skip over the science of atoms and compounds and whatever else, but since our body uses chemistry for nearly everything going on, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to review my forgotten knowledge of these things. I finally understand for the first time what things do and mean that I just skipped over in high school because it was confusing. Anyway, she starts discussing enzymes and I started wondering what enzymes were in the stomach and liver, which is where everything gets metabolized. Next I’m looking up about ulcers and the medication that I was given and how exactly those things were helping to fix the ulcer. Anyway, I am totally amazed at how life works. I’m constantly thinking, “Oh, that must be why...” Lightbulbs! I don’t know if I will do anything related to that field, but for now it’s very enlightening!

Just some thoughts

It's been a while since I have written anything, but I have had a lot of thoughts about the lesson today in church. We discussed temptation and the teacher likened a scripture story in Alma to strengthening our weaknesses and temptations. So, the story was when the lamanites were going to take over the city of Ammonihah because they had destroyed it previously and it was an easy target. Moroni knew this would be their plan and so they had been fortifying the city, put an army there, and were prepared for when the lamanites would come. So, likewise, satan tries to go after our weaknesses over and over and over because that's an easy target for him. So the question we have now is how will we fortify our weaknesses? I guess since I'm still reading in Alma and was familiar with the story, it really enlightened me. How can I literally make myself stronger where I am weak? I know what I should do, sure...BUT, I realize now that this is difficult because I want to keep doing the same things I'm doing, even though they may not be the best for me. I'm not ready to say goodbye to some of my weaknesses.  I need to figure out how I can desire a fully righteous life. If I'm being honest,  I love the Lord and His gospel, but I guess the truth is I don't love Him enough or rather love Him perfectly. This saddens me, but at the same time the spirit is leading me through this so I can maybe in another life love Him perfectly. I know that I want to love the Lord with all my might, mind, and strength. So I am grateful for that hope. So now that I have narrowed down what I need to do to start this change of heart, the only thing I can start with is drawing closer the the Savior so he will draw closer to me. Maybe then will I be willing to "put off the natural man." I will do this by making my personal study of the scriptures a little more meaningful. I will actually study personally the come follow me instead of just leaving that for family study. Probably next, like when my kids are in school all day, I will be able to make my temple attendance more regular. So that's my plan...