So, lately I’ve been feeling like I’ve just randomly been plopped down here on earth, lucky to have been raised in this family, lucky to have the gift of knowing God is real, lucky to end up where I am with a testimony. And thinking about all of those struggling and not utilizing the gifts available to them; but it’s not all their fault, they were raised this way or that way with those friends and they don’t have the experiences I have to had their faith strengthened. You get the point… And as I was studying for my lesson, I came across this quote and after I read it, the spirit just witnessed to me that it was because of how righteous I was before mortality that I was placed where I was. My patriarchal blessing even says that because of my faithfulness and righteous desires I was blessed to be born where I would be prepared and be able to build the testimony necessary to become instrumental in the second coming. I am just so grateful for this gospel. I’ve never been so happy and so grateful for the plan of salvation and I believe it with all my soul.
“ But more than mortal birth, more than mortal preparation are involved. He was born in the household of faith for a reason, and it was not this life alone that prepared him to stand as a minister of light and truth and salvation to his fellow mortals. The fact is, he is a spirit son of God who was called and chosen and foreordained before the foundations of the earth were laid, and he is now fulfilling the destiny designed for him from the preexistence, and promised him, in our presence, as we sat with him in the grand council when God himself was there.” I think that was Mckonkie or kimball about a new prophet.
When I was 18, I bore my testimony at BYUI one time. I cried so much, it was ridiculous. I sat down and I was like, “That. Was. Ridiculous. No one even knew what I was saying, I can’t control my emotions, that was dumb and pointless.” I vowed never to bear my testimony again and I turned down talks for the next 14 years. I thought I couldn’t be a strength to anyone because people couldn’t even understand what I was saying and I was just embarrassing myself. Well, something changed in me and for some reason I had a desire to preach and help strengthen my ward. I finally felt this is my family. I care about this ward, I truly do love them. The spirit kept nudging me to comment in class more. I bore my testimony being as real as I could, but kept it brief so the flood gates wouldn’t open - in my heart thanking the many women who were brave enough to cry in front of their wards during those 14 years. I discovered if I wrote down what I wanted to say, I wouldn’t be as emotional and plus I enjoy writing and learning the gospel. So, I agreed to give a talk. I was super nervous, but I didn’t cry and I felt like that was a good start. I bore my testimony more and gave another talk, a little less nervous because a lot of these members are my friends and I can talk in front of them. Through the years I kept commenting, kept bearing my testimony, becoming more and more willing and able to say what I wanted without crying the whole time. I no longer get very nervous and I am eager to give talks and comment. I am just so grateful at how far I have come. I never would have thought I could be a source of inspiration to people and I truly just want to tell everyone about the gospel. About the possibilities, the blessings, the joy they can feel from coming closer to Jesus Christ. This is the good news! We will be saved if we believe and accept Jesus because of the atonement. But God still offers us more. More knowledge and understanding so we can be with Him, dwell with him, learn His ways and become even as He is. How loved we are. I am just so happy.
